At Least Nobody Got Stabbed

Posted on by Melissa Lewis
With only 6 days of school left, I had to get a sub today so I could attend a Professional Development training. I had told a couple of my co-workers, “I’m going to be gone tomorrow and my kids are going to be working on projects that involve glue and scissors. I’m 85% nobody will get stabbed.”
This was the email I received mid afternoon from said sub:                             
Block One: No major issues.  This block went very well.  A great class.
Block Two: No issues what so ever.  A good class.
Block Three: No major issues.  Had to stay on the case of R—- and B—-.  B—- did nothing.  R—- only worked after I told her that if the behavior continued she would serve a lunch detention with me and a hour with you :)   She was fine after that. (Guess what, R—?  I’m still going to assign you a detention.  That goes for you too, B—.)
Block Four: In terms of behavior no major issues for the vast majority of the class.  C— was sent to Mr. J’s for spraying Lysol all over and trying to rub it on people’s ears and face. (Detention!)  B— was sent to work in Mr. P’s room. (Detention!)  N— put white out in J—’s hair. (Detention!)  90 percent of the time the class was very good.  They had spots were people caused problems.
Mr. H—–
I laughed out loud when I read that last paragraph. 
Sigh… I guess some things never change.

Haters & Other Things That Annoy Me

Posted on by Melissa Lewis

I’m not going to lie, this has been a rough week, mostly because I’ve been battling the mother of all sinus infections and have barely been able to complete a thought these past few days. As a result of not feeling well, I’ve had very little tolerance for the attitudes of my 8th graders. I’ve really had to practice self-control to keep myself from laying hands on children. Here’s a  taste of what has annoyed me this week:

Whatever

A student walks into my room before 1st Block even begins, and he’s got his earbuds in and his back pack on.

Me: “You need to take your ear buds out and go put your bag in your locker.

Student: Ignores me.

Me: “Take your ear buds out and put your bag in your locker.”

Student: Looks at me like I’m vapor.

Me: “I know you can hear me. Take your ear buds out, put your bag in your locker, and if you are tardy, you will owe me detention as well.”

Student: As he pushes past me, “Whatever.”

Me: “I like how you act like this is a brand new rule. You know better so don’t ‘whatever’ me.”

Student: “I just did.”

Mockingjay

Two pages into reading chapter 22 out loud, I stop, close the book and set it on the table.

Student 1: “Wait. Why did you stop reading?”

Me: “My voice hurts, and some of you are talking and I am not going to read over you.”

Student 1: “I was listening.”

Me: “So if I gave you a quick right now, you’d do well on in?”

Student 1: Stares at me blankly.

Student 3: “I’d do well because I’ve already read the book so suck it!”

District Writing Assessment

For our spring writing assessment, students had to read three articles (3 really crappy articles, I might add) then make a claim about whether or not violence should be censored from TV and video games. They then had to cite all three sources somewhere in their paper as part of their claim or counter-claim. As the student start writing, one of my gems approaches my desk:

Student:  ”I have a sort of unique opinion on this topic, and none of the sources really go along with it.”
Me: “Well, can you use the sources to support your counterclaim?”
Student: “That’s going to be a problems. The counterclaim, because I’m pretty sure that nobody in their right mind would disagree with me.”
Me: “Well, then, you need to be prepared to lose points because the purpose of the assignment is to use text evidence to prove to others why you are right.”
Student: Eye roll followed by sulking back to his desk.
In all fairness, he was leaps and bounds above the girl, who 7 minutes into our timed writing test blurts out, “What are we doing? Are we supposed to be writing something?”
Cain’s Arcade
In my classes we have been talking about the power of social media and what it’s capabilities are. I showed my 4th block the YouTube video, “Cain’s Arcade”. For the most part they really liked it, but of course there’s always a hater in every bunch:
Hater: “Did you see that kid’s teeth? How cheep. He made those games out of cardboard. He didn’t even have any friends. What a loser.”
Student 2: “Man, why do you always have to be a hater? You’re so negative about everything.”
Student 3: “No kidding. You’re pickin’ on a little kid. He’s like 9.”
Me: “It’s true. You are being pretty negative.”
Hater: “Whatever. You guys don’t even know anything.”
Student 2: “Say what you want. He may only be 9, but he still has more swag than you.”
Class:  ”Ohhhh!!!! You got told!!!! Oooooo!!!”
Me: “You totally had that coming. You need to lay off drinking the Hatorade.”
Class: “Ohhh… that was a good one Miss Lewis.”
Me: “You like that? I stole it from TV. Feel free to use it.”
And for those of you who haven’t seen the video, Cain’s Arcade, here you go:

Banana Pimp

Posted on by Melissa Lewis

I totally forgot I had this.

Last week, in the middle of a sentence, a student sticks a piece of paper in my face and shouts out, “Miss Lewis, isn’t my picture tight?”

Without looking at it, I snatch it from his hand and say something to him about not blurting out in class. I put the paper on my desk and went on with class. At the end of the day I found the piece of paper still sitting there.

Yep. Meet “Banana Pimp.” He likes to decapitate his “Banana Hoes” because they “got no swag.”

 

 

 

Pee Patrol

Posted on by Melissa Lewis

Today for our class warmup I put Scattergories List 9 up on the screen and gave the kids 3 minutes to come up with one item for everything on that list that started with the letter rolled.

In one class, the letter was H. Of course for restaurants I had several kids write down “Hooters. In regards to body of water I over heard one student say, “The only bodies of water I know are the Great Lakes, and none of those start with H.” I flat-out told them they would not receive any points for writing “hooker” or “ho” for a Halloween costume. There was a collective groan across the room.

I was shocked when one of my sweetest students shared out his answer for a Halloween costume:

Student: “Hitler.”

Me: “Ummm. I suppose someone could dress up as him but I wouldn’t recommend it. In fact, I’ll just tell all of you right now, that if you any of you show up on my doorstep on Halloween dressed as Hitler, you will not be getting any candy.”

In another class, I rolled the letter P. I had several responses for household chores; most of them were variations of “putting” or “picking up.”

Student one: “Putting the dishes away.”

Student two: “Picking up the living room.”

Student three: “Putting laundry away.”

Student four: “Picking up the yard.”

A could see a pattern forming and then all of a sudden I get:

Student five: “For mine I get two points because both words start with P. Pee patrol.”

Me: “What’s that? Is that like walking the dog or cleaning the bathroom?”

Student five: “I don’t know. It could be either guess.”

Me: “I don’t know about that one.”

Student six says in all seriousness: “I can see that.  One time we had to totally clean out the fridge. We even had to throw a lot of food away because my dad came home drunk and peed in the refrigerator.”

Me: “Those are the kinds of things you probably shouldn’t share in public.”

Student seven: “Or be so goddamned embarrassed you have the common sense not to.”

Former Students, New Students, & A Couple of Ducks Just Passing Through

Posted on by Melissa Lewis

On Monday, I arrived back from spring break to find an email in my inbox from a student I had last year. I do keep in touch with a handful of former students via Twitter, or when they pop in for a random flyby, but letters and emails are very rare. The email read:

Hey Ms. Lewis,

          A______ just gave me your email this morning, she’s slow. So how have you been? Do you like your students this year? I mean they can’t be as great as we were, we did set the bar pretty hight.  I’ve missed you so much. My new English teacher is like 60 and talks in a monotone. She never smiles or jokes around, the complete opposite of you.  I guess I need to accept that not all teachers are as great as you are. We’ve been learning about Shakespeare and we are currently reading Romeo & Juliet. I honestly don’t understand it. I like the modern version that we read with you last year; it was funny and made sense.

* A couple of years ago my students really wanted to read Romeo & Juliet but it’s part of the 9th grade curriculum so I couldn’t teach it. They didn’t care and were very persistent and who am I to deny a bunch of 8th graders exposure to such a great work. So due to the fact that I love to write and never really sleep, I stayed up one night and wrote a 36 page modernized version of the play. Not gonna lie, it was pretty amazing. We’ve read it every spring since then. And I don’t feel bad about it.

A______ , some friends, and I are going to watch The Hunger Games tonight. I’m excited but kind of worried that the movie will be too different from the book. Hopefully it won’t be, but I don’t understand how they could make it PG-13 and can keep all the violence that was in the book. A______ said that you were really excited for it to come out so that you could watch it. I’m sure that you were probably one of the first people in line to see it when they first showed it yesterday.

Well, I hope that you had a good spring break and enjoyed the movie.

G___________ :)

I know that teachers are not supposed to have favorite students, but she is still totally one of my favorites.

Another student, who happens to be getting a lot of attention these days, is the New Girl. She showed up in my 4th Block yesterday, and quickly developed a swarm of admirers. Today, she was the first one to arrive in class and I had to intervene when I noticed a gaggle of 8th grade girls, none of whom were even my students,  crammed in my doorway mean muggin’ her across the room. I shooed the girls away by shouting at them, “Don’t even think about bringing all your drama in here.” They stomped away glaring at me. The boys then moved in, crowded around her and got their “flirt” on. It was ridiculous. I think I’ll greet my boys at the door tomorrow with bibs they can wear to catch their drool. Also, the ITBS practice test scores for this class dropped 14% today- the boys were a little preoccupied. (Thank God she already took her state tests at her old school. I’ll have to make sure she’s out of the room when we test next week, otherwise, those poor fellas are going to tank big time.)

Also, I’ll need to make sure these guys are nowhere in sight next week. These ducks showed up outside my window 2nd Block Monday. I’m not sure where they came from, and I’m not sure why they chose to hang out by my window. I am sure, however, that not a lot was accomplished in that class that period. The custodian later informed me that he was pretty sure they’ve laid eggs. Great. It’s going to be a long 9 1/2 weeks.  

Catching Some Z’s & Lightning Bolts aka Parent Teacher Conferences

Posted on by Melissa Lewis

Spring break has come and gone, and now we are on to the final stretch. 9 1/2 weeks until the end of the school year. (Not that I’m counting.)

This year’s spring break started off just like every other with parent teacher conferences. Here are a couple of things that stood out.

Catching some Z’s

I have a student who takes a really looooooong time to complete assignments. He literally writes a word (usually his own name) then finds something else to occupy his mind for the next ten minutes. I walk over, tap his paper, ask him what he’s going to write next, he’ll say a sentence then he’ll write a word, sometimes a word and a half, then his mind is off again… Apparently, this is a common occurrence and was the focal point of our parent teacher conference.

The student showed up with his mom and 2 sisters and the conference began. We discussed his report card, then began to make our way through his individual evaluation sheets for each class. Everyone of his teacher’s wrote similar comments about the students inability to stay focused to complete simple tasks in class.

At this point, Mom shook her head and sister commented:

Sister: “You can see this makes our mother upset. She has heard this from his teachers for the past three years. She doesn’t know how to help him.”

Me (to student): “How does that make you feel? Your mom is upset by what she’s hearing.”

Student: “No. Actually, she’s just trying to stay awake.”

Mom: Looks at her son and frowns.

The student and I start to make plans for him to stay after school to get caught up, and I glance over at Mom to see if she’s following our conversation. She’s not. Her chin is resting on her chest and yep, she’s asleep. I pause for a minute as she sits up and looks around. I continue to talk to the student about tackling his missing assignments and when I look back at mom her eyes are drooping, drooping, and she’s gone. At this point I adjust my laptop on the table just enough to jostle her back to consciousness. The third time she falls asleep… I just leave her be. The student and I finish the conversation, I thank the sisters for coming, the three of us get up from the table and start to walk away… Eventually mom wakes up and thanks me for my time. It was all very awkward.

Do you want to know what else is awkward? When a conference that starts like this.

Me: “Hey guys. Thanks for coming. Mrs. O, it’s great to see you again.”

Student, Mom and I sit down.

Mom: “So, has my son told you that I was recently struck by lightning?”

Me: WTF? Seriously? Did I just hear what I thought I did? And if so, how in the world am I maintaining my composure? “No. Nope, he didn’t mention that.”

In all fairness, the story that followed was not funny, but who leads with that? The truth is, Mom had been using the shop vac to clean up the water her their flooded basement. She went outside to empty the canister, was standing in a puddle, and lighting struck the yard electrocuting her. Crazy.

Dirty Jokes and Dirty Dancing

Posted on by Melissa Lewis

Today my students wrote letters to their parents for parent teacher conferences. While I walked around the room, reading over their shoulders, one student stopped me and asked:

Student: “Hey Miss Lewis. Do you want to hear a joke?”

Me: “Well that depends. You have seven minutes. Can you tell me a joke and still get your letter finished in seven minutes?”

Student: “Yah. Oh yah. I’m almost done with my letter.”

Me: “Well then I would love to hear a joke.”

Student: “Ok. A guy walked into a strip club-”

Me: “Ok. I’m going to stop you right there.”

Student: “No. No. It’s not dirty. He goes to a strip club because he’s going to order a steak. It’s just called a strip club because it’s like a strip. As in like a steak. I swear. It’s not dirty.”

Me: “Okay. Let’s just start with the part where the guy orders a steak.”

Student: “Fine. This guy orders a steak and the waiter brings it out and it’s all bloody. They guy asked the waiter, ‘Why is my steak bleeding?’ and the waiter says, ‘It’s because I just got done beating my meat.’ “

Me: ”Now you just lied to me. You told me your joke wasn’t dirty.”

Student: Using his book and pencil to pantomime a butcher tenderizing a slab of beef with a mallet. “Get it? It’s not dirty. He was like beating the meat.”

Me: “Well that may be true, but why is the joke funny?”

Student: Thinking quietly to himself for a few seconds before his face and neck turn bright red.”Ohhhh…“

Me: “Yep. It’s not just the words you actually say, but what the joke actually means, that make it a dirty joke.”

The remainder of the afternoon went pretty well.

And then came the after-school dance.

The Cafetorium (yep, that’s a thing): Is pulsating with the sounds of Nicki Minaj and clouded in a thick fog of BO and Axe Body Spray.

In the center of the cafetorium, is a clump of kids “dancing.” In the center of that clump, an 8th grade boy and girl are making out a ton. A staff member, pulls me aside. She asks if I know the girl student, and when I tell her she’s in my 2nd Block, she says, “I think you need to pull her aside and talk to her. About what she’s doing.” Before I can approach the student, Miss S. has her pulled to the side and is giving her a lecture.

After the dance, I’m standing in the hall, sending kids on their merry way, when I stop to see the nurse and Miss S. talking about this same 8th grade girl.

Me: “So what was she doing? I was told to talk to her, but you had already taken care of it.”

Miss S.: “She was standing in the middle of that circle, with her boyfriend, and they were French kissing. I’m talking his tongue was all the way down her throat.”

Me: “Ewww. Gross. I just saw him getting handsy and told him to stop. That’s gross.”

As we’re standing there gossiping the two kids start towards us on their way out the door. I lean in to Miss S. and the nurse, “Watch this.”

Me: “Hey A_____, come here for a second. I asked the nurse to come here because I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you okay?”

Student: “Yah. I’m okay.”

Me: “Are you sure? Because I thought you might be having some trouble breathing. Is you’re breathing okay?”

Student: “Yah. I’m fine.”

Me: “Are you sure? It looked to me like you were having trouble breathing during the dance. You know. With that obstruction blocking your airway.”

Student: “Awww, Miss Lewis.”

Me: “I just wanted to make sure. But if you’re okay, you can go home now so the nurse can check my retinas. I’m pretty sure they were burned from watching you at the dance.”

Technology, Overpopulation, and Kevin Bacon

Posted on by Melissa Lewis

It’s been an interesting week, and it’s only Tuesday.

In preparation for our District Writing Assessment next month, my students have been learning how to write argumentative essays. We are starting simple.

Step 1: We read an article.

Step 2: On a note card, the kids each list 3 facts, from the article, that support their claim on the issue.

Step 3: One the back of the note card, the kids each list 3 facts, from the article,  that would support an opposing view point on the issue.

Step 4: The kids write a paragraph.

Sentence 1: Their claim

Sentences 2-3: Two separate pieces of evidence, from the story, that support their viewpoint.

Sentence 4: A counter-claim. (A sentence that states an opposing viewpoint- I have to rephrase it because they forget what     “counterclaim” means)

Sentence 5: One piece of evidence, from the story, that supports their counter-claim.

Count them. Five sentences. Three of which they are copying from a notecard…which they copied from an article. Simple enough.

For the most part, they did a good job and I got a lot of paragraphs like this:  

Prompt: Argue whether or not you think the amount of technology kids consume is a problem or just a part of life.

Paragraph: I think the amount of technology kids consume is out of control. According to the article, average teens spend 16 hours a day using some sort of technology. Teens also spend 95 minutes texting. Some people might disagree and think technology is just a part of life. They say it does help you keep in touch with your family and friends.

Not too shabby.

And then there’s this one. Same prompt.

Technology Makes People Fat?

In my opinion people are making a big deal about kids using to much technology. First off it’s not true, scientist can F off. They make it so why can’t we use it. I we play sports and go to school that leaves three – five hours in a day for technology. Not eight. Let people be obeese if they want, the population is too high anyways.

We will be discussing this paper at his parent teacher conference next week.

On a lighter note, I actually laughed out loud when this happened at the beginning of 2nd Block today.

I see a kid shuffling down the hall towards my room as the bell rings. I wait, holding the door for him because I can tell he’s feeling bad about being late.

Student: “I know. I know. I’m late. I’m sorry. I had to go get my binder from the science room. I left it in there when I was sent home yesterday.”

Me: “You were sent home yesterday? What happened?”

Student: “I told the principal that she looked like Kevin Bacon so she suspended me for the rest of the day.”  

Me: Not even trying to stifle my laughter because, well, she does kind of look like Kevin Bacon. “You what? You said she looked like Kevin Bacon and she suspended you? What happened before that? Surely something else happened.”

Student: “No. Nothing happened. I just said to her, ‘Has anyone ever told you that you look like Kevin Bacon?’ and she sent me home.”

It turns out that things got pretty ugly in gym class yesterday with the sub. When the principal stepped in and told the boys they were going to lose their open gym time during lunch, the boys did not respond very well. Threats were made by students, as well as several smart remarks (If you want to call the Kevin Bacon comment a smart remark) which resulted in parents being called. In the end, several boys were sent home.

When this particular student’s mother showed up to get her son, all she had to say was, “Well, you do look like Kevin Bacon.”

The Miyagi Dojo Visits Room 112

Posted on by Melissa Lewis

I don’t condone fighting in school. But… I must be an evil person because I had to stifle my laughter when two boys got into a fight in my room last week. There were several factors that made the incident well… ridiculous.

1. The stature of the two boys. Boy 1 is about 4 foot 10 and might weigh 80 pounds… if he were wearing his heavy winter coat… and it had gold bricks in the pockets. Boy 2 is about 5 foot 4 and kind of boxy. He’s lean, and moves in a very angular fashion- much like the paper skeletons you make in elementary school with the brass brads so the joints can bend…

2. The incident that set it off.Shoulder bumping. Yep. That’s right. The two boys tried to pass each other in the isle, and they aggressively bumped shoulders.

The recycle bin a.k.a. scene of the crime.

3. Awesome dialogue.  

 

Boy 2: “Excuse you!”

Boy 1: “No. Excuse you!”

4. Technique

Boy 2: Kicks Boy 1 in the shin.

Boy 1: Punches Boy 2 square in the face.

This is when Boy 2 flies backward, lands in the recycle bin, and slides three feet across the floor into the wall.

Me: Good Lord! What are you two doing!

At this point I get to the boys, just as Boy 2 pops up out of the paper and cardboard rubbish and comes at Boy 1. I can’t

"Finish him!"

believe my eyes. Is that the crane? Yep. Boy 2 is hopping towards Boy 1 with his arms extended above his head and one leg hitched up like Daniel Russo. Mr.Miyagi would have been proud… except for the fact that I simply stepped between the two boys quickly putting an end to the nonsense.

Me: “Enough of that.” I simply pushed Boy 2′s raised foot to the side, causing him to almost topple over. “March yourself on down to the office, Daniel Son.” (Muttering to myself) “Disgracing The Karate Kid in my room. I don’t think so.”

Boy 1 just sat in his desk and waited to be collected by an administrator.

It’s Valentine’s Day

Posted on by Melissa Lewis

I know! I know! It’s been way too long since I’ve last posted, so let me just jump right in.

Question? Who scheduled a middle school orchestra/band concert on Valentine’s Day? We did! And of course I was assigned supervision duty. Truth be told, the musical “entertainment” was just the icing on the cake. Let me break down a couple of highlights that made up the treat that was my  ”Valentine’s Day in a middle school.”

I arrived to school for morning duty to find a cafeteria full of kids bouncing off the walls with their giant teddy bears- I’m talking 2ft. tall stuffed gems holding little hearts between their paws with phrases like “I wuv U” and “UR Beary Sweet” on them, and gallon sized Zip-Loc bags full of candy- most of which would be consumed before 1st Block even started. The theme for today instantly became “crowd control.”

I started each class with my standard “holiday that involves the consumption of candy” speech:

Me: “I don’t want students peddling candy in my class. I don’t want to see wrappers on the floor. When you throw your wrappers and sucker sticks away, they need to go in the trash can- not near it, not stuck to the side of it, but IN the trash can because I do not want ants.”

Students: All look at me like I’m a moron.

3rd Block, I received this email from our Success worker:

The sales are almost over, following 8th grade lunch, you will get a bag of grams delivered to your room. Please pass out the candy grams to the students during the last few minutes of class. Hopefully this will not be too distracting. If you have any students that are not present today, please put those in my box and I’ll get them delivered tomorrow…

Also check your mailboxes for your own candy grams, I know several of you have gotten them too. Thanks so much for the help on this project.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

This was my response:

I like how you are worried about candy grams being distracting. I had a student show up to 3rd Block with a giant teddy bear and a target bag full of candy. Did I also mention that she was wearing a pair of giant red wings?

 Happy Valentine’s Day everybody!

By the time 4th Block filed out for lunch, I had two ant colonies snacking away on candy hearts and, what I assumed to be a blob of peanut butter, that had not quite made it into the trash can. When the kids returned from lunch, I made them stop one at  time and examine the ant hills on their way back to their desks while I made comments like, “I’m not so crazy now, am I!” and “This is exactly what I was talking about. The trash cans are right here people.”

My two stragglers, who always take their sweet time coming back from lunch, were assigned “ant clean up.” They put down a bunch of Kleenex and stomped the life out of those ants before laying them to rest in the trash can. Then they wiped the floor up with Clorox wipes to get rid of any left behind sugar residue.

Aside from the assortment of candy hearts, that students tried to give me out their grubby hands, I had one student who had a special treat for me. He marched up to my desk and said, “I brought this for you because you’re my favorite teacher.” The then reached into the front pocket of his skinny jeans and pulled out a giant smashed Russell Stover’s strawberry-marshmallow filled chocolate heart. As soon as class was over, that tasty treat, joined the ants in the trash can.

Skip ahead to 6:00pm.  Students began to arrive for the musical delight that was the orchestra/band concert which was scheduled to start at 6:30. It was my job to stand guard at the door of the band room to 1.)keep kids from escaping, and 2.) keep kids from bludgeoning each other with their band instruments, while waiting to take the stage 20ft away in the auditorium. First up was the orchestra, followed by the 6th grade band, followed by the 7th/8th grade band.

The orchestra took forever! During that time, the kids stood around talking, and, when they thought I wasn’t looking, occasionally smacked each other or practiced dive rolling around on the floor. Every so often, I opened the door to the hallway to supervise trips to the drinking fountain. It was when I reentered the room after one of those supervised that I first noticed the smell. I stepped into the band room and my eyes instantly began to water. I noticed the kids, who had been milling around the door, were now all huddled in the corner behind the piano. Several of them had their shirts covering their noses and mouths, and a few were trying to stifle giggles, while others, like myself, were trying not to barf. I’m not going to lie. It was foul. As I stood by the door one student, who happened to also be in my 4th Block, decided to strike up a conversation with me. My first thought was, “How are your eyes NOT watering?” My second thought was, “Oh my god. You totally farted and don’t think anyone can smell it.” My solution,  ”Let’s walk and talk.” That way I could still be the kind teacher who “cared about what he had to say” while still getting some fresh air into my lungs. And wouldn’t you know it? During our traveling conversation, he farted at least 3 more times. I thought the night would never end.

The orchestra kids finally returned from the stage, and the 6th grade band quickly blew through their numbers. At last I ushered the 7th and 8th graders in for the final portion of the show. The kids all got situated on the stage and I stood in the back to watch the show. Another teacher, who had been in the auditorium all night, informed me that the concert would have been over a long time ago, but the band director couldn’t find his music and spent FOREVER running around the stage like a weirdo looking for it.

At this point, he addressed the audience to introduce the 7th/8th grade band. He held his hands up and said, “Attention! Can I have your attention? I’ll just do what I do with the kids. (Holding up his hand and counting down on his fingers) 5, 4, 3, 2,

Random Parent: (yells out) “We’re not children!”

Awesome.

Happy (belated) Valentine’s Day folks.