>Student Writing Makes My Brain Bleed

>I was cleaning out some old file folders and I came across this gem from my first year of teaching. I think it was during this activity that I had an epiphany: Not all people are natural born writers.

The focus of this lesson: I show the students a “telling sentence” and they take that topic, add great details, and turn it into a “showing paragraph.” I’m not sure they got it.

Telling Sentence: We took a risk.
“We took a risk when we was gonna jump from an edge of the building to the other. We could of fell and splat our brains onto the ground below.”

Telling sentence: My two friends are as different as night and day.
“One day there were two friends who liked different things like, one like night and the likes day.”

Telling sentence: The mood was somber.
“The mood was as mellow yellow as the drink in a can. It is so mellow that when you look at it, it will make you so mellow you will always never ever your always calm and tired and will always will.”

Telling sentence: It felt great to be alive.
“It felt and real wonderful and tremendous to be so grat and alive and lively to be so movely and happy and really energetic so that people could actually fell his happiness and will always be their.”

Telling sentence: We took a risk.
“We took a risk going to the bathroom at someone elses house. The tolit could over flow. Get clogged up from too big a poop that’s a big risk.”

Telling sentence: It felt great to be alive.
“It felt great to be alive because I could actiolly could smell feel stuff.”

Telling sentence: It felt great to be alive.
“It felt great to be alive. If I was dead I would be so bored.”

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3 responses to “>Student Writing Makes My Brain Bleed

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