Another middle school Halloween has come and gone. Thank goodness.
This year, a bunch of us staff dressed up to compete in a costume contest. One teacher wrote “book” on her face and went as Facebook. We had a couple of bottles of catsup, a bottle of mustard, a pirate, a pirate’s wench (although I doubt that’s what she called herself), a soft ball player, a jelly fish, a couple of witches, a couple of hippies… even Elvis and Ozzy Osbourne were in the building today.
I dressed up as a nerd. I wore my “NERD” shirt, and all of my lanyards and buttons from Comic Con, as well as my giant Comic Con backpack bag you get at registration. (For the record, even the smallest 8th grader cannot fit inside a giant Comic Con backpack.) One student asked:
Student: Miss Lewis, where did you get all of that nerd stuff?
My proud response: …my closet…
Another student stopped me in the hallway and tried to give me some advice:
Student: Miss Lewis, you’re supposed to push your glasses up a lot and ask, ‘Um… um… does anyone want to trade me some Pokemon cards?’
As part of our Halloween festivities, we kicked off each class period telling our best jokes. I heard some pretty good ones, but we had to cut the jokes short in one class when a student told the following joke:
Student: Why can’t witches have babies.
Me: Nope. Nope. Not appropriate. This is what I meant earlier when I told you guys it only takes one inappropriate joke to ruin it for the whole class.
Student: But it’s not bad.
Me: I’m telling you it is. It’s not appropriate and our conversation is over.
In case you are wondering, the punchline to that joke is: Witches can’t have babies because their husbands have hallow-weenies. Childish I know, but I was not about to invite a bunch of jokes about hallow-weenies and crystal balls into my classroom. (For the record, the student heard the joke earlier in the day from the math teacher. Nice.)
My Halloween highlight of the day came from a mature civilized discussion that quickly took a turn toward the terrifying.
Male Student: Miss Lewis, how come teachers were allowed to dress up today, but kids can’t?
Me: Well, think about it. I’m not saying this applies to all of you, but think about your classmates. Do you think most 8th graders have a good sense of judgement when it comes to what is and is not appropriate for school?
Male Student: Oh. Right. I see.
Me: So rather than have a line of students in the office, trying to call home for a change of clothes to cover up body parts, we decided to dress up and surprise you.
Female Student: I totally know what you mean Miss Lewis. There are some pretty bad costumes out there. I saw some pretty bad ones out there last night.
Me: I agree. It can be hard to find a good costume anymore.
Female Student: Especially of us girls. I mean there are some girl costumes out there that are so short, they don’t even cover your cookie.
Me: And we’re done.