Here are a few golden nuggets from random conversations that have occurred in my classroom recently.
Student: Miss Lewis, have you ever seen the movie Stepbrothers?
Me: Funny you should ask because I have never seen it. I started to watch it on Saturday but never finished it. It was pretty stupid. It was funny, but I could actually feel myself getting dumber as I watched it.
Student: Really? You’re gonna play that card? You’re around us 8th graders all day. What could make you feel dumber than that?
I over heard this little gem while I was on the other side of the room entering my attendance.
Student: When I grow up, I’m going to be the sexiest man alive. You know it. The day I was born, was the day the world started breathing. I got it all. What don’t I have? I’m gonna be on stage rockin’ my guitar with leather chaps and my big ‘ol happy trail. I’m gonna wear that everywhere I go.
This morning, I decided to play a little joke on my students.
Me: So class. I was talking to Miss Smith next door and she told me that she was going to get some posters for her room. She also told me that some of you had the nerve to say, “Just as long as they’re not Justin Bieber posters like Miss Lewis has.” How dare you? That makes me think you don’t appreciate the things I do for you. I spend my own money to try to make this room look nice and student friendly and you criticize the way I do it?
Students: Look down at their desks tops not speaking.
Me: Setting a cardboard poster tube on the table. So this weekend, I went to every Walmart, every F.Y.E. and every Hot Topic and I bought every single Justin Bieber poster I could find. Look out kids because this room is about to get Bieberized. Starting with this gem… I stand back to unroll… the Official Hunger Games movie poster.
One student mumbled under his breath, “Oh my God. I think half the class just had a nerdgasm.” Seriously? Where do these kids get this stuff?
A couple of weeks ago, while playing a game of Scattergories, the letter was “P” and one of the items on the list was “personality traits.” We went around the room and teams shouted out their answers.
Student 1: Patient
Student 2: Persistent
Student 3: Polite
Student 4: Ours is double points. A people pleaser.
Me: That’s really good. All of your answers are good.
Student 4: (muttering to his classmates) Yep, I please you for $3.99 an hour.
Student 4: Ummm… ummm…
Me: $3.99 an hour? You’re cheap.
Student 4: (chuckling) Oh. I thought I was going to be in trouble.
Me: Well, it sounds like you’re already in enough trouble if you’re only charging $3.99 an hour.
Student 4: Miss Lewis…
Me: What? I’m just saying, your services must not be very good.