I don’t condone fighting in school. But… I must be an evil person because I had to stifle my laughter when two boys got into a fight in my room last week. There were several factors that made the incident well… ridiculous.
1. The stature of the two boys. Boy 1 is about 4 foot 10 and might weigh 80 pounds… if he were wearing his heavy winter coat… and it had gold bricks in the pockets. Boy 2 is about 5 foot 4 and kind of boxy. He’s lean, and moves in a very angular fashion- much like the paper skeletons you make in elementary school with the brass brads so the joints can bend…
2. The incident that set it off.Shoulder bumping. Yep. That’s right. The two boys tried to pass each other in the isle, and they aggressively bumped shoulders.
3. Awesome dialogue.
Boy 2: “Excuse you!”
Boy 1: “No. Excuse you!”
Boy 2: Kicks Boy 1 in the shin.
Boy 1: Punches Boy 2 square in the face.
This is when Boy 2 flies backward, lands in the recycle bin, and slides three feet across the floor into the wall.
Me: Good Lord! What are you two doing!
At this point I get to the boys, just as Boy 2 pops up out of the paper and cardboard rubbish and comes at Boy 1. I can’t
believe my eyes. Is that the crane? Yep. Boy 2 is hopping towards Boy 1 with his arms extended above his head and one leg hitched up like Daniel Russo. Mr.Miyagi would have been proud… except for the fact that I simply stepped between the two boys quickly putting an end to the nonsense.
Me: “Enough of that.” I simply pushed Boy 2’s raised foot to the side, causing him to almost topple over. “March yourself on down to the office, Daniel Son.” (Muttering to myself) “Disgracing The Karate Kid in my room. I don’t think so.”
Boy 1 just sat in his desk and waited to be collected by an administrator.