I’m not going to lie. 8th graders are ridiculous. Which is what I love and hate about my job. Mostly, I love it.
Students are finishing up their papers and reading, while I’m walking around the room. I come to two girls sitting next to each other who are passing a spiral notebook back and forth between them. I grab it out of one of their hands.
Student 1: “No. No. We’ll put it away.”
I’m ignoring her while I write my own note in their spiral. Then, without saying a word, I put the notebook back on her desk and walk away.
The two girls quickly hunch over the notebook to see what I wrote. After a couple of minutes, I hear:
Student 2: “Seriously, Miss Lewis?”
This is what I wrote in their notebook: OMG! This class is totes cray cray. I can’t w8 for Thanksgiving. It will be amazeballs for reals yo.
A student asks me to read over her paper. While I’m reading it, I hear the following from across the room:
Student 1: “You got that right. I’m a true OG. A total gangster. I’m so gangster, you won’t even see me coming.”
I look up to see the student get up from his desk and gangsta-walk around the row until he’s standing behind one of his buddies.
Student 1: “That’s right. That’s right. I’ll cut you.”
Me: “Yep. You’re going to be looking real gangster in a minute when we call your Mommy and you can explain to her how were too gangster to get your paper done.”
Student 1: Jumping back into his desk “Nope. Nope. No need to do that. I’ll go from gangster to wankster because my mom will throw me in the jaaaaaaail, son.”
Me: “Hey, that could be the name of your book, ‘Gangster to Wankster’.”
While helping a student reword the end of his paper I hear a student behind me:
Student 1: “Dude. Dude. Dude. Short Stuff.”
At this point I turn around.
Me: “Are you talking to me?”
Student 1: laughing at himself “I said ‘Dude’ like four times, and when I said ‘Short Stuff’ you turned around. Because you’re short.”
Me: “How about you use my name next time you want my attention. Staple your papers and put them in the tray, you weirdo.”
Over the next couple of minutes, I continue to hear:
Student 1: hee, hee, hee… “She totally turned around when I called her Short Stuff. Miss Lewis, that’s your new name.”
Me: “Oh great. I love nicknames. Now I just need one for you. Let me see. I know. Turdball. How’s that grab ya?”
Student 1: “No. I’m not shaped like a ball.”
Me: “You’re absolutely right. Trudstick it is then.”
Student 1: “No. I don’t think so.”
Me: “What? What was that, Turdstick? I couldn’t hear you. Nicknames sure are fun, aren’t they, Turdstick.”