The Miyagi Dojo Visits Room 112

I don’t condone fighting in school. But… I must be an evil person because I had to stifle my laughter when two boys got into a fight in my room last week. There were several factors that made the incident well… ridiculous.

1. The stature of the two boys. Boy 1 is about 4 foot 10 and might weigh 80 pounds… if he were wearing his heavy winter coat… and it had gold bricks in the pockets. Boy 2 is about 5 foot 4 and kind of boxy. He’s lean, and moves in a very angular fashion- much like the paper skeletons you make in elementary school with the brass brads so the joints can bend…

2. The incident that set it off.Shoulder bumping. Yep. That’s right. The two boys tried to pass each other in the isle, and they aggressively bumped shoulders.

The recycle bin a.k.a. scene of the crime.

3. Awesome dialogue.  

 

Boy 2: “Excuse you!”

Boy 1: “No. Excuse you!”

4. Technique

Boy 2: Kicks Boy 1 in the shin.

Boy 1: Punches Boy 2 square in the face.

This is when Boy 2 flies backward, lands in the recycle bin, and slides three feet across the floor into the wall.

Me: Good Lord! What are you two doing!

At this point I get to the boys, just as Boy 2 pops up out of the paper and cardboard rubbish and comes at Boy 1. I can’t

"Finish him!"

believe my eyes. Is that the crane? Yep. Boy 2 is hopping towards Boy 1 with his arms extended above his head and one leg hitched up like Daniel Russo. Mr.Miyagi would have been proud… except for the fact that I simply stepped between the two boys quickly putting an end to the nonsense.

Me: “Enough of that.” I simply pushed Boy 2’s raised foot to the side, causing him to almost topple over. “March yourself on down to the office, Daniel Son.” (Muttering to myself) “Disgracing The Karate Kid in my room. I don’t think so.”

Boy 1 just sat in his desk and waited to be collected by an administrator.

>This post is brought to you by The Jersey Shore

>How do I describe a day like today? For some reason the phrase “shit storm” comes to mind.

Block 1: Ok. 1st Block wasn’t too bad. I did have to confiscate several sheets of blank address labels. A student had stolen from the Science room (the teacher was gone and had a substitute) and had passed them out to several other kids who were now wearing them as mustaches. At the time I was really annoyed, but if I had known how the rest of the day was going to turn out, I would have let the whole class make fake mustaches and probably fake eyebrows as well.

Block 2: Tired of hearing the kids continuously break out into discussions regarding the crazy girl fight last week, I had to lay down the law. I reminded them that in my classroom, we do not engage in fighting and we do not talk about fighting. I told them if I catch them talking about school fights, they would have to call home and serve a lunch detention. A student responded:

Student: “What’s the big deal? It’s like 10 years later, and people still talk about 9/11.”

Me: “Don’t you dare compare a middle school girl fight to 9/11.” I was too frustrated to say anything else so I made the kids take a test.

Block 3: Although I made it through the Block without incident, as soon as I dismissed the class, all hell broke loose. In less than 5 seconds of the dismissal bell, I found myself diving through a crowd of 100 8th graders. I made it to the center of the chaos to find two girls on the floor. The 1st one was on her back on top of a teacher who had her restrained so she could no longer hit him. The 2nd girl, who is being pulled away by two other teachers, has both hands tightly gripped into the 1st girl’s hair. As the teachers begin to make some headway in separating the two, the 1st girl grabs the 2nd girl’s leg. The two teachers are now dragging all three of them down the hall while I am trying to hold back crowd. That’s when I notice a boy is repeatedly kicking the girl who is restrained. With one hand, I continue to hold back the crowd, while I pin the boy against the lockers with the other. He continues to kick her until I am able to get my body in between them. By then administration has arrived and I am off to write my 1st office referral of the day.

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